Dating after divorce small children
Truth be told, younger children (under age 10) may feel confused, angry, or sad because they tend to be possessive of their parents.Renowned researcher Constance Ahrons, who conducted a 20-year study of children of divorce, concluded that most children find their parent’s courtship behaviors confusing and strange.Neuman recalls, "This 13-year-old kid once said to me, 'I feel, now that my parents are separated, that Idon't exist.'"While most children don't articulate their feelings so strongly -- in fact, most shrug or say "okay"if asked how they're coping with a parental split -- therapists who work with children of divorce agreethat divorce makes kids question who they are, where they came from, and where their lives are headed.That's not an argument for or against divorce, for or against dating.What you say to your children when you begin dating after your divorce will depend largely on their age. You'll be in bed when I get home."With school-age children (6-10) you can begin to provide more information.If you need a reminder about what to expect at each developmental stage have a look here When talking with young children (infants and toddlers) describe the person you are seeing as a friend. I'll be back soon."With preschoolers (ages 3-5) still describe the person you will be going out with as as friend. You will likely want to have a more in-depth conversation about dating.
When the family disintegrates, achild's sense of self is threatened, even if he maintains strong ties to both parents.
One of the most common questions divorced parents ask me is: When should I introduce my new partner to my children?