Dating relationships and the demand withdraw pattern of communication
We found both actor and partner effects of REB on communication patterns during conflict.Individuals with higher REB, who have partners with higher REB, reported on more constructive communication, and were more satisfied with their relationships.The reason it's so deadly is because it eclipses the purpose of anger, which is to use it constructively to bring about positive change going forward in a relationship," she says.Referred to as the "demand-withdrawal" pattern by researchers, it can occur when one partner "constantly nags, asks questions or makes demands while the other partner responds by withdrawing, avoiding or giving the silent treatment," says Paul Schrodt, communications professor at Texas Christian University in Fort Worth.When Diane Knippen's third child was on the way, she and her husband had a conversation about shared values."We decided on pretty broad items," Knippen recalls."And it does tremendous damage." The silent treatment is part of what's called a "demand-withdraw" pattern."It's the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship," says Paul Schrodt, Ph.
"It's the most common pattern of conflict in marriage or any committed, established romantic relationship," says one author.
This study tried to extend previous findings by investigating dating relationships and employing the Actor-Partner Interdependence Model to examine the role of both partners’ REB for the couple’s constructive and demand/withdraw communication patterns during conflict.
We expected those who believe they can successfully resolve conflicts to engage in more constructive communication, and that their partner’s higher efficacy beliefs will also be associated with constructive communication during conflicts.
"It's easy to think of the silent person as holding the power in the situation, but in reality (she) often feels small and powerless.
She really has no idea what to say or do when hurt, so she withdraws.""Ultimately, it has nothing to do with the argument but needing to feel like you are in control of something when everything else around you is spinning out of control," echoes Mulholland, of Royal Oak, Mich.
This shift is the result of one or both partners adjusting their reactions or stance in a set of exchanges.